Lance Armstrong Unretires!!! Let the REAL race begin!

After 3 years of leaving the cycling world and going into the profession of rubbing elbows with Hollywoods sub-elite. He has announced his return to his one true love the Tour de France. Which means now, the Real race will begin and the competition will be fierce, and probably more cut throat then years before. Who will be his show girlfriend and supporter for the Tour de France. With so many eligible women wanting that prestigious status and to be holding him while on the winners circle, it is going to be an interesting 10 months to follow. Though I am going to Las Vegas and going to lay $100 dollars on Matthew Mcconaughey.

My Musical Theater Instinct

I recently was running home from work from the subway station at night, and I was cutting my way through the neighborhood to get to Sunset. I reached Sunset at Las Palmas, where there is a crosswalk, but not with lights, just a crosswalk. I looked both way to see that there were no cars for a distance, so I proceeded. As I was slowly jogging across there was a car in the far lane that was approaching pretty quickly and not slowing down and we were about to meet. Because I wasn't about to slow down so I can let him pass. It slowled down but not to a stop and as I got to the lane as it was fastly approaching, I snapped my fingers right at my side and whipped my neck, and went, "Hey" with my left leg lifting up for a slight skip. The car then stopped to a halt until I passed and then speeded off. Thinking back, I wondered why my instinctual reaction was to snap my fingers like I was aparted of the Jets in West Side Story.

Transformers: A Day In The Life

It was the most grueling viral videos ever. 100 degree heat in the middle of summer, snow suit on and mask, not being able to move my arms and legs properly because of bookshelves are taped around my legs and arms, each weighing 20 pounds. Then a card table is attached to my back with nails in it, attached to a backpack, so the table could be attached. 3 hours, no water, no food, and any wrong moves could lead me to toppling over, to my ultimate death. I survived and was able to complete the greatest viral video that was shot in that apartment on that day. It was near epic but it will be a day that will live on in my mind box.

Morgan Freeman Narrates His Own Car Accident

On August 4th, 2008 Morgan Freeman was involved in a car crash on a rural Mississippi highway. He sustained a broken arm, broken elbow and minor shoulder injury. Also involved in the crash in the passenger seat, was a female, Demaris Meyer. Found at the crash was a voice recorder, that was recording at the time of the crash. This is from the voice recorder.

"Morgan: I've never had fish tacos like that at T.G.I.Fridays, before. They were amazing.

Demaris: Watch out!

(screaching noise)

Morgan: When Mr. Morgan Freeman was younger, he went to the circus and saw the trampize artists and how happy they were. Well he made pact with himself that day to live life to the fullest and to be as happy as they were. Over the years, he dealt with hardships, and the steps of life...

Demaris: (Lots of screaming) Aggggh!!!

Morgan: ... in life you get to a certain age, when you start to ponder what is next in life. Do you walk on glass hoping and start preparing for the demise or do you live like you are just starting your life, that's at what point Mr. Morgan Freeman was coming to...

Demaris: (More Screaming) Aggghhh!!!! Shut Up!! Shut Up!!

Morgan: ...little did Mr. Morgan Freeman know, but this was a new beginning for him, a wake up call as you will. And as he sat there, with the car turning over in mid air, everything became clear and more crisp...

Demaris: (Just plain screaming.) Aggggh!!
(Car crash sound)

Morgan: ...(screaming) Agggghh, also little did fucking Mr. Morgan Freeman know, is that he had a fucking broken arm, and broken elbow, and that his pain hurt like a mother fucking bitch slap on an Alaskan cold winter day, from a Pimp to his Ho.

(tape ends.)

Wolverine at the Movies

It was the first day of the long awaited X-Men movie. The country has been salivating over its release date, waiting for the big event. I too was the same. It was My brother, a friend named Nick and me. We decided to go extra early to get tickets and wait in line for a good seat, 2 hours early. It was a 10:00 movie on a Friday, at Mesa Grand AMC, it was going to be a great crowd. The kind of crowd you want to see a movie like this.

With a movie of this magnitude, I had to show my own support, so I began searching through my clothes and household items, for a Wolverine Outfit. I got a leather jacket and a couple of layers of clothing, matching Wolverine in his casual attire, like when he was in the bar bare-knuckle fighting. It was pretty much exact with a few variations. Then I did my hair up like him, and had already been sporting the Wolverine like sideburns, (by choice.) The outfit was nearly completed except for the claws. I got out the aluminum foil and made some antimantium claws. I was set.

We headed over to the movies and got in line for the tickets. At the ticket booth, the woman, asked her usual ticket booth attendant response, “For what movie.”
“What do you think?” I said, while giving her a fist full of claws up against the window, showing that I mean business.
She laughed, “Right, how many?”
“Count my claws.”
She gave us the tickets and headed into the lobby, getting in line that had already formed for the 10:00 movie. We were somewhat near the front, which was good. We waited for an hour and half, with all of the other fellow X- Men audience, who were all gazing at my aluminum claws, with a smiles and a laughter.
They finally let us into the theater. The theater was stadium seating so we found our seats on the aisle on the left side just below the middle and waited.
It was time, about 10 minutes for the trailers and the movie are about to come on. I leave and head down the stairs and exit toward the left of the theater and went to the restroom. I walk into the bathroom quickly look in the mirror, half chuckled and headed back in, but this time I enter on the right side and walk all the way to the front of the theater, my head is down and my claws are positioned up against my stomach, to make it unnoticeable as possible. I walked right up against the movie screen and could easily touch it. I kept walking until I got to the middle of the theater, turned to the audience and in one motion I crotched down bringing my claws down at my side and slowly rose up, shooting my claws up into the air in front of me, roaring to the audience.
“RRRRrrooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrrraaaaaaggghhhhh!!!!!”

The whole theater went dead silent, absolutely not a peep. Quiet and still. Then a long moment of a mute audience was suddenly interrupted by a single clap, then another and another to an explosion of screaming out “Yeah!!!”, and cheering, clapping, laughing and hollering. I smiled and shot my left hand back up in the air and returned to my seat, with audience getting louder and louder.
I sat down with a huge smile on my face in awe of an emotion that I can’t describe.
The people sitting in front of my turned back to me, “That was funny.”
Then a gentleman came running up the stairs to my seat, and on the stairs next to me, “Oh man, that was awesome! Hey listen, I work at a comic book store, and was wondering if you can come in and if I can take a couple of pictures of you to put up on the wall. I’ll give you some discounts on stuff at the store. What do you say?”
“Sorry bud, I am heading out of town tomorrow, going to the Grand Canyon.”